son we need to talk. about your report card. son did you know your grades spell “ACDC” here is a high five and your bedtime is never
yo i ain’t saying she’s a gold-digger but she does carry a weird pan everywhere and keep mumbling stuff about “gold in them there hills” idk so yeah she is probably a gold digger
the first step to any murder is to have fun and be yourself
I don’t think Florida’s even a real place anymore.
Never forget 3 types of people in your life:
- Who helped you in your difficult times.
- Who left you in your difficult times.
- Who put you in difficult times.
A moment of silence to all the kids who can’t wait to become a teenager because they think it’s fun
Two hours of silence for all the teenagers who can’t wait to become adults because they think they’ll get to do whatever they want
a shot of vodka to all the 20 somethings who are coping with a lack of rent money by sitting around eating captain crunch in dinosaur PJs wishing they were actually a pre-teen again.
MY OPINION ON THINGS CHANGE FREQUENTLY AS I LEARN MORE STUFF ABOUT THE THING PLEASE DO NOT HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE FOR SOMETHING I SAID THREE YEARS AGO
straight men are so fucking gay
if you’re doubting me on this place a mini whiteboard and a felt pen about 10 feet from one and time how long it takes for them to crudely draw a penis
i don’t think anyone really understands how much compliments actually mean to me like i usually brush them off with a joke and a quick “thank you” but really i remember compliments for forever so if you’ve ever complimented me or done something nice for me thank you so much wow
I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer